I've been trotting along taking this whole sobriety thing one day at a time and today I realized that the whole point of this blog was to make it 100 days booze free. I do that....get all into some new idea, absorb myself in the process, and then completely forget what the original plan or goal was.
When I started this journey, 100 days of sobriety seemed like a lifetime. I've been drinking for 20 some odd years and since then I've NEVER gone 100 days without a drink. But now that I'm on day 23, 100 days doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I'm proud of being able to say that. I'm also an idiot for saying that because I haven't really been tested yet.
The logical part of my dome knows that I can't go back to drinking after 100 days. It just doesn't work that way...at least not for me.
I drink wayyyyy too much diet soda, and I have for a long time. I know that I should drink more water and that artificial sweeteners are blah blah blah....I don't give two shitz! I've given up booze....one vice at a time.
About a year ago I decided that it was time to give up the diet soda. And I did....for about a month. Then one day I had the urge for one and I used the "everything in moderation" argument to convince myself to buy a diet coke....one of those big convenient stores ones....44oz. It was magical! Tasted better than I remembered. A few days later I had another....then another. Soon I was back to injecting the stuff into my veins.
I guess my point is moderation is likely never going to be an option for me...not with booze. So 100 days isn't going to be enough. Still, the idea of a lifetime of sobriety is a monster I'm not willing to tackle yet. I think that's why the "one day at a time" things has been working for me so far.
Diet coke is my major crutch in not-drinking. I've given myself a free pass on this for at least a year. First things first (not-drinking) and, as you say, one vice at a time. At almost 100 days, it is incredible how powerful and proud I feel! Yes, I know there will be more trouble spots and temptations ahead- but I never would have thought I could actually do 100 days without wine. So, after this, who knows what else I can tackle and accomplish! You will be amazed!!
ReplyDeleteYou were up at 3:42 in the morning??? Get some sleep! :-) I'm kidding...Maybe it's a time zone thing.
DeleteI like the "free pass" idea. I'm just hoping not to pick up any more bad habits to replace the lack of alcohol. I've been craving sweets a little more than usual in the last three weeks. If it's not one thing, it's another.
I get it exactly. I couldn't fathom forever, so I quit drinking for 100 days. Then I tried moderation, and had about as much success as you did with your diet coke. And when I quit again a month ago, I still had to start with planning for 1 week, which turned into 3 months. Really I know it has to be forever but that's such a big chunk of time to commit to all at once. I need this to be both an emotional and a logical commitment, and I can't make the big emotional one all at once. Bit by bit seems better.
ReplyDeleteAnd like Sue said, after 100 days, you will feel great. Congrats on 23 days!
Congrats on your first 100 days, and congrats on quitting again. I agree, bit by bit works best. Abstaining over the next few hours of my life is usually pretty easy. I can deal with that. Telling myself that I can never ever drink again....well, that makes me want to punch myself in the face.
Delete